30 Jan The ‘F’ Offensive
Suzan Morgan is in a dilemma over school fundraising.
The Unrelenting Pressure of School Fundraising Events
It’s lovely to see my six year old bounding out of school, a happy smile on her face. What a pleasure to see education having that effect on her demeanour, I think to myself. But hang on a minute, what’s that she’s swinging in her hand? Is it a homemade toolbox? Is it another cereal-box rocket? No, it’s – oh no, it’s not, is it? Please say it isn’t that. But I can already see that it most certainly is. Yes, it’s the unwelcome sight of the dreaded Fundraising Chocolate Package. It’s enough to strike terror into the heart of even the most dedicated parent. And as the full horror grabs me by the jowls, I know instinctively what my daughter is going to say as soon as she reaches me. “Mum, can I have one of these when we get home?”
The Dreaded Fundraising Chocolate Package: A Parent’s Nightmare
The kids are all delighted, of course. I mean, how often is it that they have 30 bars of deliciousness in the cupboard that their mothers can’t wait to get rid of? Children can smell the pressure like mosquitoes can smell blood. And they can be just as persistent and annoying.
For the next two weeks, the chocolates will remain resolutely unopened in cupboards all over the neighbourhood, tormenting the children, tempting their mothers and causing them sickening anxiety as the day approaches to pay up or – horror of horrors – admit complete and utter failure by skulking into the school office with a still-full box of chocolate bars and no money. And all the while, these unfortunate mothers will also have to endure the ire of their disgruntled offspring whose friends all got to have chocolate bars in their lunch boxes over the past fortnight.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I do understand the whole fundraising issue. And I know that schools make a lot of money from these products. And I know that there are families who enthusiastically sell every box they are given in half an hour flat and who then go to the school office eager for more supplies. But what about the rest of us, who have no families nearby, no workmates to pester and the selling skills of a gnat? For us, ‘fundraising’ is probably the most offensive ‘f’ word in the English language. After all, chocolate is only the beginning. Because once it has been sold (or – I’m sorry, I’m sorry – returned), it opens the floodgates for more: sausage sizzles, pasta orders, cake stalls, more sausage sizzles, Easter raffles, Christmas raffles, wine orders and, oh, let’s finish the year with another sausage sizzle.
Most of us suffer from fundraising burnout before our kids even start school, because this whole steamroller of pressure-to-buy and pressure-to-contribute starts early. It seems that even before our children get as far as their first year of primary school, we parents are already ‘pre-soaked’ in fundraising for the daycare centre, the preschool or the local playgroup. By the time our kids get to school, we are so immersed in the idea of raising money that it’s a wonder we even notice the occasional book of raffle tickets or the odd box of lollies that sneak their way into their schoolbags.
Dividing Parents: The ‘Haves’ and ‘Have Nots’ of Fundraising
I think the school population should be divided into the ‘haves’ and the ‘have nots’ – the haves being those who have the capacity and willingness to sell anything and everything to anyone and everyone, and the have nots being those who have not the slightest ability or inclination to get mixed up with raffle tickets, sausage sizzles, cake stalls or any other such ugly notions.
I would gladly pay an amount up-front at the beginning of each term to the School Protection Racket (otherwise known as the Fundraising Committee), so that I could be released from any further fundraising obligations throughout the year. I certainly don’t feel comfortable asking people to buy things that they invariably don’t want and only buy out of a sense of obligation, so that my child can have new play equipment at school. I feel that if I want those things then I should help to pay for them, rather than asking others to do so.
Is There a Better Way? Alternatives to Traditional School Fundraising
Of course, not everyone can afford to do this, and in such cases the fundraising option is a good one. But what if a parent is strapped for cash and has the selling skills of a gnat? I guess this is where the ‘no-pressure’ phrase gets wheeled out. Except, as we all know, there is pressure. And that’s the worrying part.
Parents already pay for education through their taxes, and again through the fees or ‘donations’ that go towards stationery, photocopying, textbooks and trips. Yet fundraising is embedded in our psyches these days. Ideally, it is used for those extra items that are seen as necessary but which cannot be paid for through existing school funds. However, so ingrained is the idea of fundraising that it can become an end in itself rather than a means to an end.
At a preschool that my daughter attended, the fundraising money was building up faster than it was being spent, and parents were asked to prepare a ‘wish list’ of ideas as to how the money could best be used. This seemed ludicrous given that there were families who could ill afford the contributions that they had felt obliged to make. If particular items or improvements are required, fundraising may be the obvious way for the community to help itself, but there is a danger of fundraising becoming an end in itself when permanent committees are set up solely to generate funds from an ever-obliging audience.
There is no ideal solution, and for the time being it seems that we are all stuck with hearing that ‘f’ word with monotonous regularity. For my own part, I would rather buy the Get Out Of Jail Free card every time. Let me pay the money and give me a sticker, a flag, or just a plain old receipt so that my donation is noted. But please, please, don’t ask me to sell any more chocolate.
