21 Jun Dads Don’t Have To Carry It All: Why Small Conversations Matter
During Men’s Health Week (15-21 June), parenting experts were encouraging dads, granddads and father figures to talk more openly about stress and family life — for their own wellbeing and their children’s too.
A simple way dads can support their wellbeing
Many parents and carers are feeling the pressure of daily life, from work and finances to family routines. For dads, granddads and father figures, that pressure can sometimes be harder to talk about.
This National Men’s Health Week, Triple P – Positive Parenting Program is encouraging men to start with something simple but powerful: everyday conversations.
Dr Alan Ralph, Triple P International Head of Training and Clinical Psychologist, says many dads have grown up with the message that they should “just get on with it”, rather than talk about stress or worry.
“For many dads, especially those who have grown up with the expectation to ‘just get on with it’, talking about stress or mental health doesn’t always come naturally,” Dr Ralph says.
Children notice how adults cope
Stress does not stay neatly contained. When parents are overwhelmed, children often pick up on it — through tone of voice, body language, short tempers or emotional withdrawal.
Dr Ralph says low-level stress, worry or guilt can be normal, especially when parents are trying hard to keep children safe and supported. But when negative thoughts build, it may be time to pause and reframe them.
Helpful reminders might include: “I’ve got this, it doesn’t have to be perfect,” “Plenty of other dads are figuring this out too,” or “Worrying won’t help, what can I do about it?”
Small steps can make a difference. Starting a conversation, checking in with a mate or talking to a family member can help reduce anxiety and make parents feel less alone.
Three phrases that can help
Triple P suggests three simple phrases parents can use to model healthy coping for children:
“I had a stressful day, how about you?”
This shows children that stress is normal and something families can talk about.
“I might need a bit of help with this.”
This normalises asking for support and teaches children that no one has to manage everything alone.
“This is tough, but we’ll get through this.”
This offers reassurance while modelling calm, realistic thinking.
When children hear adults name feelings and respond in healthy ways, they learn how to understand and manage their own emotions too.
Strength is not doing it all alone
Queensland dad Andrew Boniface, father of twin nine-year-old daughters, says many men focus on work and providing for family while overlooking their own wellbeing.
“As dads, many of us believe we need to have all the answers and stay strong. But I’ve learned that strength isn’t carrying everything alone – it’s about being honest when things are tough, staying connected to those around you, and doing things that fill your cup,” he says.
He says when parents are tired, stressed or overwhelmed, it is easy to react rather than respond. Sometimes the most powerful thing a dad can do is talk honestly about what is going on.
“The best gift we can give our kids isn’t perfection but showing them how to be human,” he says.
When extra support is needed
If stress, anxiety or negative thoughts feel overwhelming, support is available through a GP, health professional or evidence-based parenting programs such as Fear-Less Triple P Online.
Support note:
Parents and carers in Australia can access free online parenting support at Triple P
If you or someone you know is feeling overwhelmed or in crisis, contact
Lifeline 13 11 14 or text 0477 13 11 14 and go online
