19 Feb The First and Hardest Hurdle: Recognising Developmental Delays in Your Child
If you think your child might have developmental delays, having them assessed early can make a lasting difference. In this personal story, Helen D* reflects on the moment her family stopped wondering — and started seeking support.
“Thousands of young children have developmental delays, but it is not uncommon for parents to dismiss the fact that their child has a problem.”
When the Signs First Appeared
David was nearly two years old and wasn’t talking. He could say a few words but he couldn’t put a sentence together. We also wondered how much he understood as he didn’t seem to respond to our instructions. As well, although he had been walking for four months, he had an awkwardness about him that neither my husband nor I could understand. My sister suggested that we take David to an assessment centre and the day that we did so was a turning point in our lives.
After a thorough assessment, the staff advised us that David’s overall development was significantly delayed. No diagnosis was made, but they suggested that David would benefit enormously from attending the centre’s special needs playgroup. We decided that we would follow their advice and David joined the group straight away. I took David to the playgroup for a year. I learnt how to handle and work with his developmental delays and watched him improve and gain confidence. He benefited enormously from the one-on-one attention.
Early Intervention Makes a Difference
This early intervention certainly helped David to make significant progress during his pre-school years. While at preschool/ kindergarten he underwent speech therapy, occupational therapy and physiotherapy. He also had some one-on-one attention from a special-needs teacher at preschool and a social worker visited the on a regular basis to check on his progress. She and I liaised with one another throughout his preschool/kindergarten years and David received two more assessments as well as reports from the various therapists before starting school.
Searching for Answers
Throughout these years we remained puzzled about what David’s problem was. We could see that he was ‘different’. He was an island unto himself, feeling very comfortable in his own company, and spent most of his time doing jigsaws and building houses with Lego. When he was in the company of others, David’s behaviour was quite awkward and he would speak in monosyllables only. His eyes would wander and he had no idea how to stay focused and look other people ‘in the eye’.
There was also a physical clumsiness about David that was partly related to low muscle tone and he had a lot of trouble holding a pencil and writing his name. After several months of occupational therapy, David was finally able to grip a pencil and write his name, and by the time he was six we felt he was ready for school.
Understanding the Diagnosis
We often wondered whether David’s problem was related to autism – the fact that he couldn’t make conversation or socialise and that he had difficulty expressing his emotions tended to indicate this. Then, one day at a barbecue we were introduced to a child psychologist who, after observing David, told us that she thought David had Asperger’s syndrome. My husband and I had never heard of this before and she explained how Asperger’s is similar to autism in many ways, but different in others. We arranged an appointment with a paediatrician who specialised in autism-related disorders. At the initial consultation, we were asked questions based on the Australian scale for Asperger’s syndrome, and following this and a further consultation, David was diagnosed with the condition.
Life Now — and Why Early Action Matters
David is now in his second year of high school and thoroughly enjoying it. Conversation with his peers still does not come naturally but he is attending a conversation skills group run by the Autism Association, at which older children with Asperger’s learn how to make conversation with one another and then apply these skills when interacting with others. According to the school counsellor, David’s friends and David himself, he is now quite relaxed about making ‘small talk’ and initiating conversation. Consequently, his lunchtimes are now spent playing with his friends rather than in the library. He also goes along to a youth group run by the local church, and this has been a real confidence-builder for him socially.
Accepting the First and Hardest Hurdle
Thousands of young children have developmental delays but it is not uncommon for parents to dismiss the fact that their child has a problem. However, by accepting that your child has developmental delays, you have stepped over the first and hardest hurdle. Once you have accepted that there is a problem, you can seek professional help and will soon find that you are not alone.
So, seek professional assistance as soon as you think that your child might have a developmental delay. Thorough assessments are made at most child and family health centres and diagnosis is much quicker these days because families and doctors are better informed.
Today, Asperger’s syndrome is generally included under Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).
If you’re wondering…
If you’ve found yourself quietly questioning your child’s development — their speech, movement, social skills or understanding — you’re not alone. Many parents notice small differences long before they have a name for them.
Trusting that instinct doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with your child. It simply means you’re giving them the best chance to get support early, if they need it. Early assessments can open doors to practical help, guidance and reassurance — and they don’t lock you into a diagnosis.
Taking that first step can feel daunting, but as this story shows, it can also be the beginning of greater confidence, understanding and connection — for both you and your child.
Related reading / support links (Australia)
Where to seek early childhood assessment in Australia
- Raising Children Network (Australia) – Clear, parent-friendly guidance on developmental delays, early intervention and assessment pathways
👉 https://raisingchildren.net.au - Child and Family Health Services – Available in every state and territory; your GP can refer you, or you can self-refer in many areas
- Autism Connect (National) – Free national helpline and online resources for families with developmental concerns
👉 https://www.autismconnect.org.au | 1800 209 644
