27 Nov Helping Teen Boys Break Free from Harmful Masculinity Rules
A new report reveals how pressure to “be tough” is harming boys’ wellbeing. Learn what parents can do to help teens build healthier ideas of masculinity — and grow into kinder, more confident young men.
New report reveals how pressure to ‘be tough’ is harming boys’ wellbeing
A new report from The Men’s Project at Jesuit Social Services has found that many Australian boys still feel intense pressure to live up to outdated ideas of masculinity — and it’s hurting them and others.
The Adolescent Man Box Report, based on surveys of 1,400 young people aged 14–18, shows that while most teens reject rigid gender stereotypes, a worrying number of boys still believe they must always appear strong, confident and in control — and that showing emotion or vulnerability makes them weak.
Boys who most strongly believe these “rules” are more likely to get into fights, bully or harass others, and engage in risky behaviour such as drinking or gambling. But the study also found these boys are more likely to feel lonely, anxious and experience poor mental health.
The Hidden Cost of Being ‘Tough’
The findings reveal the real-world impact of these beliefs:
- 46% say no one really knows them well.
- 27% had been physically hurt on purpose in the past month.
- 27% believe that if a man is violent toward his partner, she probably “deserved” it.
- Boys in this group are twice as likely to view pornography showing violence or acts without consent.
- 35% said they would retaliate if rejected.
- More than a quarter said their friends would use AI to create fake nude images.
- Almost half said their online life feels more rewarding than real friendships.
- 85% experienced poor mental health symptoms in the past fortnight — many without seeking help.
“These findings are worrying,” says Matt Tyler, Executive Director of The Men’s Project. “But there’s also hope. Most boys told us they believe in equality and are disturbed by the harassment of women and girls. They want to do better — they just need help to unlearn messages that tell them strength means suppressing emotions or dominating others.”
Parents Have the Greatest Influence
Encouragingly, the report found that parents have more influence over boys’ attitudes and behaviour than social media or online personalities.
“This is powerful,” says Tyler. “When parents model empathy, respect and emotional openness, it gives boys permission to express feelings and see that being strong can also mean being kind.”
Jesuit Social Services is calling for a National Action Plan to support young people affected by harmful gender norms, and for governments, schools and tech companies to promote healthier, more positive messages about masculinity.
How Families Can Make a Difference
Parents and carers can play a crucial role in reshaping what “being a man” means:
- Talk openly about emotions and mental health.
- Challenge old “boys don’t cry” messages.
- Encourage empathy, kindness and respect in friendships.
- Model calm, respectful ways to handle anger and stress.
“Breaking free from the ‘Man Box’ keeps everyone safer,” says Tyler. “It allows boys to grow into confident, caring young men who value connection over control.”
Fact Sheets:
1. General overview
2. Pornography and deepfakes
3. Girls’ perspectives on rigid masculine norms
4. Mental health and help-seeking
5. Adolescents online
