06 Aug Children know what safe relationships look like — and adults need to listen
Children and young people have a clear sense of what makes them feel safe, respected and supported — and a new national report says adults need to take those views seriously if Australia wants to prevent violence before it begins.
A new report from the Australian Human Rights Commission has highlighted the important role children’s voices can play in building safer families, schools, communities and online spaces.
The report, We’re talking about stopping violence before it begins: Supporting Quality Engagement with Children, draws on the views of more than 300 children and young people across Australia.
Its message is hopeful but clear: children understand what positive relationships look like, and they want to be part of the solutions that shape their lives.
What children say safe relationships look like
Children and young people described positive relationships as supportive, respectful and kind. They spoke about trust, fairness, good communication and feeling able to be themselves.
They also said safe relationships are not about avoiding every disagreement or challenge. Instead, they are about being able to work through problems, feel heard and know they are valued.
For parents and carers, this is an important reminder that children often notice more than adults realise. They are watching how people speak to each other, how conflict is handled, how fairness is shown, and whether adults listen when children say something feels wrong.
Prevention starts early
National Children’s Commissioner Deb Tsorbaris said children’s insights must help drive action.
“Children and young people have told us what they need to feel safe and we must listen,” Commissioner Tsorbaris said.
“Their ideas can help shape policies and programs that truly work. By listening and acting on their views, we can better support all children and young people to realise their right to live free from violence.”
The report says families, schools, communities, media and online environments all play a role in shaping children’s understanding of relationships.
That means violence prevention is not only about responding after harm has occurred. It is also about the everyday environments children grow up in — the homes, classrooms, clubs, playgrounds and digital spaces where they learn what respect, safety and care look like.
Why listening matters
The report finds children want to be included in decisions that affect them. This does not mean placing adult burdens on children, but it does mean creating genuine opportunities for them to share their views and be taken seriously.
For parents, that can start in small but powerful ways: asking children what helps them feel safe, listening when they talk about friendships or online experiences, and making sure they know their voice matters.
The report also recognises that some children face greater risks. Factors such as gender inequality, racism, poverty, housing insecurity and intergenerational trauma can create environments where harm is more likely to occur.
This is why the Commission says prevention needs to be community-led, culturally safe and responsive to children’s real lives.
What the report recommends
The report makes eight recommendations aimed at strengthening Australia’s response to gender-based violence and embedding children’s voices into prevention systems.
Key recommendations include:
- involving children and young people in national strategies that affect them
- improving coordination across government on child safety and wellbeing
- delivering nationally consistent, age-appropriate respectful relationships education
- investing in place-based and community-led prevention programs, including First Nations-led initiatives
- strengthening children’s rights in online and media environments
The report also urges governments to work within existing national frameworks rather than creating disconnected new programs.
A reminder for adults
For families, the takeaway is simple: children’s views are not an optional extra. They are central to understanding what safety, respect and support look like in real life.
When adults listen properly — at home, at school, in services and in policy — children are more likely to feel valued, protected and included.
As Commissioner Tsorbaris said: “This report shows that prevention starts early. If we listen to children and invest in the relationships and environments that shape their lives, we can stop violence before it begins.”
