06 Feb Gender Agendas: the differences between boys and girls
Educators David Wylde and Marilyn Heins discuss the differences between boys and girls and how they affect how we raise them.
How Male and Female Brains Process Emotions Differently
It is known that there are differences in development and function between male and female brains. In most aspects of development chronology, girls’ brains mature earlier than boys’. Positron emission tomography scans and magnetic resonance imaging have also shown that information laden with emotive content moves quickly to the top of the female brain into the four lobes, where thinking occurs. The male brain, on the other hand, seems to have a tendency to move such information towards the brain stem. In simple terms, this makes a female more likely to process feelings of pain or hurt, talk about them, and get help from others since more of this brain activity moves up to the hemispheres that use verbalisation and reason to cope with a crisis. By contrast, males are more likely to become physically aggressive (fight) or withdraw (flight). While this observation is a general tendency, it is not a rule.
Given these differences in brain development and the associated differences between the genders, we asked two educators in child and parenting—David Wylde and Marilyn Heins—to consider whether such differences should be taken into account when dealing with boys and girls or whether this approach perpetuates gender stereotypes.
Do Gender Differences Influence Education Approaches?
Wylde believes that focusing on the differences between boys and girls does not perpetuate gender stereotypes – at least not at puberty, when these differences are highlighted and when there is a need for both genders to understand their sexuality to gain a sense of belonging. However, he also believes that, in later years, too much focus on these differences can be destructive. “There is no intention to indicate, from general biological predictors, that girls can’t do maths and boys can’t write poetry, but research suggests that strategies need to be put in place in our schools to help all boys to communicate well and to assist all girls to enjoy and succeed at maths and physics.”
Heins says that, for a while, radical feminists, justifiably ticked off by generations of sexism, gender-role stereotyping and patriarchy, asserted that the only differences between men and women were genital and that all other differences in attitudes and temperament were due to socialisation in a sexist world. But Heins does not believe that this is true. She believes that differences do exist between the genders but says that the important thing is not the differences themselves but how our sexist society has traditionally dealt with these differences. She maintains that it is important for parents not to allow gender stereotypes or ignorance of the way the modern world works (it’s still a man’s world, but we’re making great strides) to thwart in any way the complete development of their children. For example, both sons and daughters can help with the dishes; both sons and daughters can help fix the car.
When considering whether girls and boys behave differently in groups, Wylde observes that girls tend to sit in circle groups during break times, whereas boys tend to stand around or be in ‘continuous motion’. He also says that the games children play tend to reflect the ways in which the genders relate to each other. Heins makes the point that although boys are generally more boisterous and more likely to engage in rough-and-tumble play, with girls generally being more docile, this is not always the case, and these characteristics overlap between the genders.
The Benefits of Single-Gender Classrooms for Puberty Years
Wylde says he does not believe these behavioural differences should inform how boys and girls are taught, whether by their parents or in a more structured environment, as we all have different learning styles that are not necessarily gender specific. However, he does believe that boys’ and girls’ interests are best served by a system that is sensitive to their differing needs at different stages of their development. The system to which he refers is the ‘coordinate’ model, in which boys and girls are taught in separate classes during their early puberty years while still socialising as they ordinarily would in the playground. The idea of this system is that, during this period of their lives, in which children most need to understand their ideal self and their own sexuality, they are in an environment in which they feel both safe and that they belong and where they can reflect with confidence among those of their own gender.
Wylde says that under this system, boys develop their ‘tender’ side because they are not in a gender-competitive classroom situation. They develop skills that they might have eschewed as being ‘for girls’ in a mixed-gender situation. They debate, act, write poetry, and extend their communication skills. And in a boys-only classroom, machismo is dismissed as buffoonery rather than being seen as heroism or sexual grandstanding.
Single-gender teaching situations have a similar effect on girls, Wylde says, who tend in this situation to take maths and science seriously and, on the whole, take their abilities seriously rather than playing the ‘dependent’ game.
Encouraging Individuality Beyond Gender Stereotypes
Wylde says the coordinate system can create a real ‘connectedness’ with the school and a special sense of belonging, which in turn leads to positive self-esteem. Co-instruction can then occur between the two gender groups, with confident young people of both genders showing less dependency and greater participation across all subjects.
When asked whether encouraging boys to express their ‘feminine’ side and girls to express their ‘masculine’ side sets them up for ridicule at school, both Wylde and Heins say that it doesn’t. While Wylde believes that most balanced parents express both sides themselves and that most balanced children also instinctively do so, Heins does not advise parents to either encourage or discourage the ‘femininity’ or ‘masculinity’ in their children. Rather, she suggests that each child should simply be encouraged to express his or her feelings and to do what they like to do best. This is a process that she refers to as ‘niche-picking’.
Both Wylde and Heins believe that being accepted by peers and being able to express their feelings are important factors in a child’s level of self-esteem. Wylde points out that in Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a ‘sense of belonging’ comes before ‘self-esteem’. Heins agrees that being able to express feelings and being accepted by peers are both important. She says that, in a sense, all interactive play in childhood helps children learn how to express themselves without angering others and how to get along with others so they are liked by their peers.
